Yes, that has been me for the past three weeks. Scared and nervous over a letter that is really not for me. Silly, really, because in the end, I will be nothing more than a chauffeur at best. The knot in my stomach started forming on the ninth of June, well, really the 5th...
It was the end of the year party for the children's church choir (yes, the one Cait was so nervous about joining last September, but ended up loving). It was a two hour long affair with food, drinks, and, of course, music. Cait was having a great time with a friend and when we came to pick her up, the choir director begged us to stay and eat leftover ice cream and strawberries (well, okay, twist our arms!). She mentioned something about Caitlin and her singing, and we started discussing how things had turned out. She had known that Cait might be nervous, and seemed happy with her progression throughout the year. So much so, that she mentioned a local girls' chorus was having auditions the following week.
Cait was worried she couldn't do both, but I reassured her the two choirs were on different days. Then she worried about other issues, while I fretted it was too late to get an audition. Did I bother to think about how she would be the day of the audition? Um, no. Bad move, in hindsight. I emailed the address on the website, secured an audition (a group setting, it turns out) and voila, we were in...well, for the audition.
I relayed the information to Cait and she seemed more worried than I expected. In fact, she was downright nervous by the time we arrived. It got to the point where I actually agreed to leave, provided that she let me listen to the choir director speak. The more I listened to him talk, the more I was so excited about the opportunity she was fearing. He was so NICE, and funny. He had a way of talking that instantly relaxed me, and I would have gladly auditioned had they asked (no worries on that end!).
The auditions started, and she wanted nothing to do with it. I decided we could leave, and she freaked...suddenly not knowing what she wanted to do. I stopped to let the lady overseeing those waiting for auditions know that we were going, and she thoughtfully said we could wait to the side, have Cait sip some water, and see if she didn't feel better...if not, no worries, there was always next year.
So, we wait we did. The first set of auditions ended, and miraculously, Cait was ready. Nervous, face a bit streaked, but almost determined. She came out after the longest 10 minutes of my life and admitted, "It wasn't so bad!". Whew.
Then came the waiting. The director mentioned that we would learn of their decision by mail. I had all but given up, and simply assumed the worst. Then today's mail came, and at the bottom of the pile (did the USPS lady KNOW?), there was the skinniest envelope I have ever seen. I was tempted to tear up without reading, and recycle without further thought. Instead I opened it and confronted things as my worst fears
turned into a dream come true! "Congratulations!", the letter practically screamed, as I became a bit excited and overwhelmed. Poor Cait was happily chatting on the phone with a friend, and I am fairly sure, thought I had lost my mind. She did it! I was so ready to leave that day and let her not try, and she pulled up all her gumption and nerve, gave it a shot...and made it. Nope, I couldn't be prouder.