Friday I was chatting with a friend, a very nice lady who hires Cait to babysit and thus, gives her spending money. We *heart* her. Her kids love Cait, Cait gets out and makes $$ and we are all very happy. She mentioned that she heard I was going to undergo "treatments" soon. I then mentioned I had already started and was nearly (as of Monday!) halfway finished.
"Oh! Really? How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Well, fine, I guess," I replied, not sure what else to say. I mean, quite honestly, I am fine. My skin is holding up (so far), I'm not bloody exhausted (yet), still doing the Couch to 5 K and am making it to appointments without the need for a mocha or xanax.
Then she asked very innocently, "So, are you going to lose your hair soon?"
Um, how does one answer that? The question had been posed so casually, as though she was asking if I took cream with my coffee or did I notice that it was supposed to rain today.
I looked at her, replied that it was 'only' radiation (there's nothing 'only' about anything blip-related, but...). Not wanting to delve deeper into a topic I loathe, I left well enough alone and didn't mention body parts. After trying and failing to discuss more important issues, we said our good-byes.
I walked home and just wondered...when people look at me, do they see me or do they just see a disease, symptoms or side effects that I don't have? Are people watching and waiting for me to somehow fall apart one day? I had just recently finally gotten to the point where I didn't feel as though things were abnormal on a daily basis. Oddly enough, doing the radiation and having no side effects thus far has helped me get there. I know it was best to be open and honest about the situation...but I really hope I haven't permanently tatooed a red C on my forehead.