I did the unthinkable. And, yes, I know it's Memorial Day and I should not be writing about trite/trivial stuff, but that being said...
As we were getting ready for our afternoon at the pool, I realized my only swimsuits were two sizes too big, not very flattering to begin with, really not for swimming and I was a little depressed. I wanted to open up a drawer and magically find something that would make me look good (well, decent), feel good and not scream "mom swimsuit" the minute I slipped into it. In the second drawer, I found a two piece that I ordered on a whim two months ago.
The weight had started dropping off, I saw this suit on Zulily and threw caution to the wind. It arrived, I tried it on, it seemed a little tight and I tossed it in the drawer and forgot about it. Then today I picked it up and thought, "What the heck? I can try it on, no one has to see me in it!"
Try it on I did...and I looked in the mirror and it didn't look quite so bad. So, I called Peter upstairs saying I needed something and his reaction was, well....he was happy. In fact, it gave me so much confidence, I realized I could actually just wear it to the pool.
Now this might sound easy for some, but I have had body issues as long as I can remember and I find that covering up myself makes them all just go away. Well, they seem to go away. My feet are too big, my wrists and knees too knobby, I've been too thin, too fat, you name it, I'm sure I've agonized over it. You'd think by my age, I'd just learn to get over it, but I have a feeling from all of the beauty magazines out there (that no, I don't bother buying anymore), that I am not the only one.
I thought about it long and hard...I could put on the mom suit. I would be well-covered, no worries about my skin, no frets about that which we don't mention, I wouldn't think about my still a tiny bit flabby thighs or my stomach (which might actually be in the best shape since I don't know when). Or I could say what the h-e-double hockey sticks, quit worrying, get a life and just put the bikini on (along with tons of zinc oxide for my chest) and go make my entrance at the pool. I always worry about looking funny or people staring at me, but for all I know they don't give a darn, so why should I?
So I didn't fret and my bikini-clad self found it's way to the pool. Not only did the world not end, I'm pretty sure it's still spinning.
Yep, it really does sound a bit silly and self-absorbed...then again, finding the self-confidence to do anything new is sometimes highly underrated. No worries, not dusting off my dancing shoes...yet.