Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it's off to work

Pete goes....which leaves me (drum roll):

exhausted and cranky.  Yesterday was not too bad in some respects, as due to an appointment with the plastic surgeon, Nicholas went to daycare in the afternoon.  Took a bit of convincing, but finally he heaved a big sigh and said, "Oh, all RIGHT, I'll go to daycare!"

It's not as if he hates it, in fact, by all accounts, he loves it.  The classes from the Montessori (well, those who go to aftercare) are mixed in one room.  They eat lunch, nap, play inside, play outside, play inside and yes, sometimes watch a children's television show (at the end of the day).  He has fun, I know he is safe and happy, and even better, I can send him only on the days that he really needs to go.   Call it a gut instinct that an afternoon at the plastic surgeon's office would not be the highlight of his day.

Peter arrived home not long after noon (just as I was enjoying a daily nap), and off to the doctor we went.  The doctor did his usual look-see, checked symmetry (he seemed surprised by how symmetrical the results are) and we discussed the next steps, to include a pre-op visit for the last procedure.  My final (?) surgery should be in April.  I know you didn't ask, but...I'll tell you just because!  I will be having a tweak on the left, minor tweaks on the right, removal of the dog ears (basically where the stitches held in the drains on the stomach incision) and, ahem, construction of the nipple.  

Now that I am 4 weeks out, the question of the day:  regrets?

Nope, none, zilch.  Yes, I still wear my Spanx faithfully and my rather regretfully sad, but comfy surgical bra.  No, I'm not perfect and if Playboy called, it would be a wrong number.  You know what though?  I LIKE it and that's all that matters.  

Four weeks later, even with a bit of numbness (more in the abdomen than anywhere else), some pain (especially when a certain someone accidentally sits on me in the wrong area), a bit of tightness (okay, more than a bit) and me being a tired and cranky momma no matter how much sleep I get:  I still like it.  I feel more normal now than I have in 16 months.  Even going to the PS does not disturb me and everyone is happy and cheery at (the other) appointments, which are few and far between.  Okay, minus the mean nurse practitioner from early January.

I'm walking every other other day (up to 2.25 miles!) and having weekly massages at the Teal Center. In fact, I was praised at my last visit by my ability to "already" lie flat on my back.  I had been doing stretches at home and needed to be flat on my back to complete, but apparently I was bouncing back faster than Lucille, the massage therapist expected (if you ever go to the Teal Center, Lucille is awesome).  If I had known this was so impressive, I would have shown them much sooner!  

So, napping and doctor's appointment equaled Good News.  The bad news for the day?  Well, I'm really not the right person to relay the news, but sadly the bloggy community lost not one, but two members yesterday.   Rachel, of the Cancer Culture Chronicles and Susan, of Toddler Planet, both died.  I knew Susan from sharing a few Tweets regarding a newspaper article and her blog and had kept up with Rachel via her blog.  Suffice it to say, yesterday was a very sad day in many respects.  If you had not kept up with them online, please visit their blogs.  They capture two amazing spirits who won't be forgotten and shared so much with the world.

And today?  Today I was a cranky, rotten mess. Nicholas had a huge issue with having his teeth brushed before school.  I hate to play the mean mommy, but can't back down on this issue.  I brushed them and he had the fit of fits.  And me?   I just broke down and cried and retreated to my recliner.  Two days in and I was ready to call it quits.  The morning had been going so well, and then that...

Fewer than five minutes later he was asking if he could carefully crawl into my lap.  He hugged and kissed me and apologized.  We finished getting ready for school and had no more problems.  Even a trip to the grocery store in the afternoon proved to be (okay, utterly exhausting) without too much craziness.  And then I came home, tried to pull it together and collapsed.  I was supposed to go out tonight and I couldn't even do that.  I grabbed all my pillows, my blankets, curled up in the recliner and took a long, overdue nap.

And now?  Now, I remember why I thought this morning was to be so easy.  Nicholas woke up, came downstairs this morning and snuggled with me in the recliner.  He then looked at me and said, 

"You are beautiful, Mommy, so beautiful.  And you know what?  I missed you.  You know, when you went to the hospital so the doctor could fix your tummy and your na-nas and Shannon took me and my sisters to her house?  I missed you then!"

I missed you, too, Bud, but I'm back now and feeling. So. Much. Better. and more normal.  Wait, in that case, cranky and exhausted might not be so weird after all, eh?  

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Melissa]

So glad you are bouncing back but allowing yourself to bounce back slowly! It sounds like LG is enjoying his "mama" time!

[alex]

Glad you're 100% happy with your decision. And don't be ashamed of those naps! I'd take a nap a day if I could (and often I do!), even without medical stuff to recover from. =)