that I have the all-clear from my surgeon. The bad news is that simply means that I don't have to return to see him before I leave (um, in 10 days!). Sadly, it isn't really an indicator of pain being that much less or me being able to do that much more.
While I had hoped to be perhaps thinking about running by now, or maybe even just a few yoga stretches, I've had a bit of a setback this week. While last week I finally felt like I was well enough to start walking more, unfortunately, I think the move interfered with my healing. While I didn't intentionally try to lift or move anything I shouldn't, I spent most of the last week twisting, turning, lifting, squatting, sometimes bending, and there was a lot more physical exertion than over the past three weeks.
By Wednesday of this week my pain level began to rise. It gradually worsened until Thursday evening I was in tears on the way home from dinner. I had long since run out of pain pills and no amount of Advil was helping. Short of resting in bed, nothing helped with pain. Note: Pretty much impossible to rest in bed 24 hours a day while you are trying to move overseas.
Since my surgical follow-up was today, I figured I could eke it out pain-wise until I got to the doctor and then beg and plead for more Percocet. Yes, I realize how that sounds, but when you are having the kind of pain I am having, it is a need. I didn't even bother sitting down in the waiting room or exam room, as that would only mean having to recover from that.
The doctor entered the room, saw me standing and figured out fairly quickly that I was still not exactly ready for so much as a couch to 5 K. He had me remove the binder I've worn for the past month, took one look at the surgical site, and asked my permission to have a physician's assistant take a look.
Well, despite my discomfort, apparently, I am healing quite well. While I may not feel fantabulous, the improvement in the way I look is about 1000%. The doctor had a fun time trying to explain just how awful the bulge was...
"It was THIS (holds right hand about a foot out from the right side of my abdomen) big!"
I have to admit, despite the slow recovery, he's right. It's amazing what a bit of mesh and a few little pieces of hardware can do to improve one's body. And if you are wondering if this was a vanity thing, if you know me, you know it's not. I simply want a body that is not causing me constant pain and that is not what I had. Right now, I'm having recovery pain. Prior to the surgery, I had regular pain doing anything and no amount of exercise did anything for the bulge. It was just growing and without surgery, would never improve.
In fact, although I haven't really lost much weight, and obviously, I can't do too much to improve my musculature right now, I was thrilled to put on a pair of jeans for the first time and have them fit me evenly (and a teeny bit loose). I had given up wearing nearly anything but yoga pants prior to surgery, simply because I had to have something stretchy to fit over the bulge. Not fun, I tell you, not fun.
Oh, and the move? I'll save that for tomorrow, but I will say had I not had the interference of the surgery and recovery, it would easily qualify as our most-organized move ever. It's not over yet, but if things keep rolling along as they have been, I may not be a complete mess when we board the plane next week. Fingers crossed!