« Usually around this time of year | Main | And the verdict is.... »

November 19, 2015

Frustrated....yet

hopeful.

So, I'm back.  Well, here in the DC area on medevac.  As mentioned previously, I've had a back issue since October 3rd (that went haywire on October 12th) and I'm here trying to figure the whole thing out.

I should not be depressed or stressed, but this has been a bit frustrating. I am grateful that I was flown out, that I've been able to see a good doctor, and that open back surgery was not suggested. In fact, no surgery has been suggested at this time. I think that is part of my frustration, as I was seeing that as perhaps an easy fix (still complicated, but easy in some respects).  Given that my pain level has been going down (it still exists, but is getting better) and my ruptured disk isn't that bad (which is good news), surgery is not the first option.

Instead, we are going to try epidural injections. The only issue is that these generally are 2-3 weeks apart, done in a set of three. To do the full set would require at least 6 weeks here. I'm slated to try one on Monday, and see how that goes.  I think part of the problem for me is that despite my somewhat relaxed attitude at times, I do like having timelines and deadlines. I realize I just work better that way.  So, having to have a 'wait and see' attitude while being so far from home is more stressful than I imagined. In fact, it's nearly as stressful as that thing that happened five years ago.  In many ways, somewhat similar, as I didn't know how that would turn out either.  I also have a ticket home a week from Saturday, which can be changed, but I guess I'd just like someone to say, "This will work or it won't..." A rather silly expectation, really, but...

I'm also overwhelmed by choice. I've bought zero Christmas gifts so far, and have been so busy with work that I haven't even thought about Christmas cards (and I'm missing the holiday fair...my favorite event of the year).  So, if anyone is offended by a New Year's card this year....

Then I watch the news occasionally and feel like an idiot for complaining about anything. Yes, I have a bad back and a bum leg because of that.  However, my husband's employer cares enough about my health that they flew me back here to get it looked at. I'm in safe lodging, have too much food around me, clean water from the tap, and a car to drive me anywhere thanks to friends who care for it while we are out of the country.

 

FullSizeRender (1)
Thanks so much to my friend, Carolyn, who gave me a last-minute invite to a Cheryl Strayed event at 6th and I. Good to get out, and the discussion was fascinating.

I also have friends who care enough to meet me at the airport, take me out to dinner, house me, call me up and invite me to events, and meet me for lunches.  So, really I just need to get out of my comfy direct-billed housing on this gray day (which is actually okay...I miss cooler weather!)  and just go do something...meanwhile being very hopeful after reviewing the spine center's website that the injections will help and I will be home soon...feeling much more like my old self.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

The comments to this entry are closed.